I’m feeling pretty useless tonight. As if everything I have been working try and prove that men can be raped is a battle I cannot win, let alone a war I can conquer. How can I when people like Trever Noah, a very good, kind, intelligent, funny, and wholesome individual can make a joke that perpetuates the belief that men can’t be raped. Not only that, he says those exact words, leaving no amount of possible implication. And all of this during a stand-up routine about breaking taboos. God! What the fuck am I doing? Maybe everyone else is right and I’m wrong. Maybe I could have fought off the sexual abuse. If I didn’t want it then my body would not have gotten aroused, right? I wish I knew. I know the facts, but it’s so hard to believe them when the society makes fun of my pain and believe it is an impossibility. The thing that I also can’t stop thinking about is that if Trever Noah believes this, then what about the other people I know. Family, friends, individuals I speak with on the subject, do they believe the same thing? Are they just “smiling and nodding” waiting for me to shut up so they get their turn to speak? Why am I doing this? I know why I do this, but why am I doing this when I know where it leads; nowhere. I know these are just self-doubts. I know I make a difference. I have been told so by other survivors, but hearing this just makes me question the whole damn thing.
Published by Kenneth Rogers Jr.
Kenneth is a member of the Rape Incest National Network (RAINN) Speaker’s Bureau. He has been living and teaching in Baltimore since 2010 with his wife, Sarah, and two daughters, Mirus and Amare. In that time he has taught 6-10th grade English in Baltimore, Maryland. Kenneth has earned a masters degree in education from Johns Hopkins School of Education, the number one ranked school of education in the country. Since growing up and moving from Peoria, Illinois he graduated from Bowling Green State University in Bowling Green, Ohio in 2008 with a dual degree in Political Science and English, he has written and published seven novels. Those seven novels are: Thoughts in Italics, a book of short stories that range from speculative to science fiction; Writing in the Margins, a novel that intertwines the characters of Jack Mueller and John Rubaker that makes the reader question what is reality and fiction; Sequence, winner of 2011 Next Generation Book Award and 2011 NABE Pinnacle Achievement Book Award, is a dystopian science fiction novel telling the story of Andrea Remus and Thomas Charon through each memory they are forced to relive as they are downloaded in a computer known as the Pandora Complex to save the human race; The Diary of Oliver Lee, the first in a young adult trilogy that tells the story of Oliver Lee, his ability to “stream” stories from the minds of those around him, and his search for the first couple he ever “streamed”; Love and Fear, book two in the Liturian trilogy which tells the story of Kevin and his continued search for Oliver Lee and answers to his possible future and fate; Raped Black Male: A Memoir which tells Kenneth’s story of what it means to be a male rape survivor, overcoming stereotypes of what it means to be black, and male, and that men can’t be raped; Heroes, Villains, and Healing: A Guide for Male Survivors Using DC Superheroes and Villains, 2017 winner of the NABE Pinnacle Achievement Book Award and 2017 winner of the Beverly Hills Book Award, uses comic books and back research to help male survivors of child sexual abuse understand and heal from their childhood sexual trauma. View all posts by Kenneth Rogers Jr.